Southland Kindergarten Assoc coffee group
Coffee groups give parents an informal and stress-free opportunity to talk about parenting, swap ideas and connect with other parents.
Southland Kindergarten Association parent support and development manager Dot Macara has run a parents' coffee group for several years.
It's proven hugely popular and for Dot has often been more effective at transferring parenting information than more formal courses.
"Today, parents often feel isolated: their friends work, their family lives elsewhere, or they just find it hard to meet new people. When you have no one to talk to, even quite simple issues can turn into major problems. That's why we created a place at the kindergarten where parents felt comfortable to stop and chat after dropping off their children."
A key aim of the coffee group is to address parenting issues, but the group has also tackled other issues:
"We've dealt with medical and legal issues, and we've even salvaged marriages," says Dot. "People have said they would not have known what to do if it had not been for the coffee group."
The group runs each week day from 9am for two hours. The emphasis is on a relaxed and informal atmosphere:
"We try to make it like your own living room," says Dot.
Despite the familiar surroundings, joining in with total strangers can still be daunting for many. Dot recalls one mother who each day dropped off her child and would race off claiming she had another appointment. Only later, she learnt the woman suffered from acute anxiety and simply could not face a room full of new people. Her solution: arrange for the mum to arrive first and get comfortable before the others arrived.
Even with its informal atmosphere, coffee groups do need some guidance to ensure they do not become dominated by a few and that parenting messages remain positive.
"You need to ensure everyone is included. I sit next to new or very shy people so I can easily introduce them to others and include them in conversation. It's about forming connections between people and building relationships. That's why you're doing it - people listening to people talk about their lives.
"People feel good because they have received help, but they also really value giving help to others. And, you know, helping parents helps the children."
