Tips on stress
It's easy to get stressed juggling family, washing, cooking, cleaning, money, getting from A to B and so on. Sometimes everything just seems too huge and too hard. Here are some proven tips on managing stress.
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Things that could help
- Think about how you react to certain situations. Are there some things that wind you up more than others? Talk about these with someone else and think of ways you could manage them better.
- Take deep, slow breaths when the pressure builds.
- Sometimes just accepting "I can't do anything about it, it's not my problem" is a relief.
- Be realistic. If you've got small children keeping the house really tidy is impossible. Set aside a time at the end of the day when you all put the toys away together.
- Exercise. Set yourself a goal - maybe walk three times a week, 20 sit ups every morning or 15 minutes digging the garden.
- Set aside some time for yourself. Sit and read a book for 10 minutes, or watch TV. Don't spend all the time your children are asleep rushing around trying to do things. Use that time for yourself. Unplug the phone and take a bath, write down your feelings, mow the lawn, lie in the sun, ring a friend.
- Make friends. Join a Playgroup, Playcentre or Kohanga Reo. Find support by talking with parents of the children your child plays with, this can lead to friendships and a show you you're not alone in your feelings.
"If I'm really stressed with my baby I just sing."
Things that wont help
- Being critical of yourself; no one does everything perfectly all the time.
- Being aggressive to others; take a deep breath and walk away.
- Falling into the trap of not eating enough, eating too much, drinking lots of coffee or alcohol.
- Yelling just winds things up leaving you and your children feeling upset.
- Getting so tired that everything seems too hard. Try to lie down and relax when your children are asleep. Go to bed early.
- Driving too fast.
- Avoiding people.
"If something else is going on, I'll snap much more easily."
Managing your day
When children are small, there always seems to be so much to do. Try to set up routines so you don't have all the chores piling up on top of each other. Be prepared to alter routines if something else comes up. If it's a sunny day - go for a walk, or if someone drops in for a chat, don't worry about the housework - it won't go away!
"Put on some loud music and dance"
Setting goals
Set priorities. Some things are more important than others, try to sort out what you really need to do and leave less urgent things for when you have time. Set yourself small goals so you feel you've achieved something every day. For example, you could aim to throw out everything in the fridge that is past its use-by date, or you could aim to spend time reading to your child.
If you are asked to do something that will make you stressed, say no thanks.
"I don't answer the phone for the 15 minutes before I leave the house."
If you are worried
If you are worried that you are feeling very stressed, low or depressed, talk with your doctor.
"I had post-natal depression. I was far away from my family and needed someone to talk to. I talked to my GP for about an hour and when I got back to the car my partner said I was a different person."
