Tantrums
Most small children have tantrums – they are a natural part of growing up. Tantrums are caused by frustration and stress that children can’t deal with. Often they happen because children can’t express themselves using words, or they are tired, hungry, bored, uncomfortable or over-stimulated.
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Stop them before they start
It’s almost impossible to stop a tantrum once it gets going. Sometimes there are some things you can do to stop them starting.
- Try not to rush things.
- Give a small number of choices (two or three).
- Do something relaxing together like going for a walk or reading a book.
- Let your child know when change is coming, for example when its almost time to go home.
"They can find waiting for things hard."
When the tantrum is underway
You can’t stop a tantrum. Make sure your child is safe, stay near and carry on with other things.
Don’t try to talk to them or reason with them or discipline them. It’s hard, but don’t give them attention.
Show you’re not upset. If you’re angry try not to show it.
If they’re in danger of hurting themselves, move them to a safer place. If you’re in a shop, leave the shopping and go to a quiet place.
When they calm down, comfort them, but don’t give in to the demands they were making.
Other ideas
- Think about when tantrums happen. Are they hungry or tired? Do they want comfort?
- If the supermarket is difficult, try to change the time. Think about shopping without your child or buy a bread roll or an apple they can chew on as you go. Tell them if they’re being good.
- Turn a no into a yes. Instead of saying “No, not now,” say “yes when we get home.”
"Try and stay calm, getting angry yourself doesn't help."
