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Children with special needs

All children need lots of love and warmth, as well as limits and boundaries to guide their behaviour.

A boy pushes the another boy in wheelchair

Think about whether your child’s behaviour is part of their natural development. Most children go through stages where they throw food, have tantrums or say “no” a lot.

Some children might need extra help with learning and could develop behaviour that is a bit unusual. This doesn’t mean they need specialist intervention. It could mean they’re having difficulty understanding what they’re being asked to do.

Children with special needs might not understand you because they have trouble concentrating. They might not understand what you’re saying or they forget what you said.

This could mean you have to show them what to do. You might also have to repeat clear instructions several times.

Some children are sensitive to hot or cold. They might find some textures really scary, or they don’t know how to play with other children. They might also be hungry or tired.

Some ideas

Be firm, without yelling.
Tell them when they are being good.
Don’t smack your child, even if you’re really frustrated. They might copy your behaviour or be scared of you.
If you’re getting really angry, walk away and take some deep breaths.
Give clear physical prompts. For example if they hit the cat, show them how to stroke gently and say “stroke the cat gently.”
Be consistent. This is really important if your child has trouble understanding instructions.
Have routines and structure so your child eats andsleeps at the same time every day.
Think about what their behaviour is telling you. Are they tired, frustrated, scared, sensitive to touch or a situation?

Life with a child with special needs can be very demanding. Keep in touch with your friends, go to support groups and keep your family in the loop. No one can parent on their own. You need people to talk to people who can support you, and people you can have fun with.

Try to spend time with your other children so they don’t feel excluded.